The Treehouse Blog

July 30, 2006

Forwarded From My Mom

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 12:59 pm

Generally there are few things that I dislike more than getting forwarded jokes. I’m not sure why exactly, but it always seems pretty close to friends sending me spam. Most friends know me well enough not to do it, but my mom still does. And she’s my mom, so what can I do?

Anyway, this past week I saw a forward from her in my in-box and sighed. But when I opened it I realized it was a joke alright, but one she was just sending to me. It said:

Subject: Parenting….

One day Mom was cleaning junior’s room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.

She finally asked him, “Well what should we do about this?”

Dad looked at her and said, “Well I don’t think you should spank him.”

Something I’ve written about before for the newsgroup is that yes, my mom kind of knows what it is we do. That is, she knows where Paul and I met and she knows that we’re both into spanking. She knows this because she told me that she and my dad do it, and have since my dad told her about his fantasy of spanking her 5 years into their marriage, and so I then told her about Paul and me.

What doesn’t she know? She doesn’t know I / we play with other people. She doesn’t know we go to Shadow Lane parties (though I always check carefully to make sure they’re not going to be there). And she doesn’t know that Paul punishes me for real life stuff.

The day after that conversation, I posted the following to soc.sexuality.spanking:

A Conversation With My Mother

A few weeks ago there was a thread on the group about coming out to a family member or friend. And questions as to why one should or shouldn’t “come-out.” I wrote that I intended to tell my parents some day — that I wanted them to know how Pablo and I met and that I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I do. And I expressed a desire that they understand the beauty of it — that between Pab and me this spanking / discipline /punishment is an expression of love.

Brave thoughts, but I never did anything about it. Too scared or didn’t have the right chance. But the other day, when my mom and I were talking, that chance came. Not because of my courage but because of my mother’s.

My mother came out to me. And I came out to her.

“You know, your dad likes to paddle me. For fun. . .”

“And I like it too. To give up control and have him decide. To be totally submissive to him, makes me feel very cared for, and very free.”

“Th-that’s a fantasy — a fantasy of mine too Mom.”

“I’ve always thought it was very brave of your dad to tell me. It was five years into our marriage. It’s thing that is most important to him sexually you know.”

“I understood, or tried to. Let him take me into the bathroom (you kids were so small we worried about noise all the time) and he carried a huge gold chair in there. He wanted me to kneel over the arm.”

“I guess, um, he’d been thinking about it a while?”

“Yes, he had to turn the chair side ways to get it in the bathroom. We tried a lot of things over the years. The noise you know. And he doesn’t like to mark me. Paddles, hand, switches… and some strange whippy thing he got somewhere. A, um, sex shop. But mostly now switches.”

“I’d wondered before about you and Dad. You know, because you have the Anne Rice Beauty book’s.”

“Uh-huh. I read them. And The Story of O … and most of DeSade. Though that was too much for me.

“I’ve never been able to get through him.”

“It sure gets really extreme at the end.”

“I have to tell you something Mom. Or rather, I want to tell you something. I totally understand. Paul (that’s Pablo to all you) and I met on a spanking newsgroup. You knew we met on the internet? Well that’s where. “

“What?”

“We both write spanking stories. We started e-mailing each other about them.”

“Do you spank him?”

“No, mostly he spanks me. It makes me feel cared for, free, even well, beautiful.”

“Yes. Because as much as I want him to, he wants to. But he respects me as his equal.”

“Yes, that’s so important between your Dad and me. He says my submission is so powerful for him because I’m so strong. And don’t submit to anyone else.”

“Paul says he always sees me as his equal because I *am* his equal. What I’m not is the same. I need something different from what he needs. I — I want him to take care of me Mom. And he wants to take care of me. You know?”

Of course she knows.

“Will you give me some stories to read?”

“Yes, I will.”

I’ve never felt so close to her, and seen her as so very much my friend. Never felt so much understanding between us, both of us seeing the other as strong, and knowing the feeling of submitting, of turning over control to another. My hand brushed away tears and I felt so grateful to my mother for lifting the last cobwebs of shame and secrecy from my kink. My sister knows the truth, my mom knows. No one in my family will ever think Pablo spanks me for any reason other than that he loves me.

What a Very Good Thing!

Later on the phone with Pablo. . .

“Guess we won’t have to worry about the noise when we stay with your parents!!”

“Yes we bloody well will worry!!! I don’t wanna hear them and I sure don’t want them to hear me.”

I have to admit it seems less, um subversive when you know your parents do it too!

Having my mom know is great in a lot of ways. The downside? I think I’m the only person other than my father that knows about what it is they do. And so she wants to talk to me about it. The thing is though, she’s still my mom and the man in question is my father. So there’s some things I just don’t want to hear about.

A couple of years ago when Secretary came out on DVD she bought and kept trying to get me to watch it with her.  We’d both already seen it, but she wanted especially to watch it with me.  I felt frantic to come up with excuses as to why I couldn’t watch it with her.  Fortunately life is pretty busy and that moment past.  It feel a bit odd sometimes to have this secret with her as for years she and I weren’t very close at all.  Good though, despite the bits of awkwardness.
Anyway, there’s some thoughts about me and my mom.

July 24, 2006

Hard Core?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 12:40 am

Well, at least according to this doubtlessly scientific quiz…

You scored as Hardcore Spanko. You are a spanko through and through. It’s both in your genes and in your jeans. Spanking is a thrill you definitely want as part of your life.This quiz was brought to you by My Bottom Smarts.

Hardcore Spanko
 
98%
Softcore Spanko
 
0%

Am I a Hardcore Spanko?
created with QuizFarm.com

Amazing. I’m not surprised the score is pretty high — I would have kind of guessed that I was going to score over 80%, but 98% was bit of a shock (I mean, I didn’t even study!). Especially since I suspect the only reason I wasn’t a 100% is that I hadn’t avoided swimming because of marks.

I mean, I’ve been to the swimming pool with marks. I just didn’t care that they showed.

July 23, 2006

Sunday Brunch at Bonnie’s

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 10:25 pm

For this week’s Sunday Brunch question, Bonnie asked:

Other than spanking implements, are there any toys you employ during a spanking session? If so, please describe your favorites and how they enhance your experience. If not, are there any such toys that you would like to own?

I wrote an answer in the comments section of her blog but I had to kind of rush it because a vanilla friend was headed over to take me to see The Devil Wears Prada (we ended up chatting for so long that we missed the film so went make-up shopping instead).

Anyway, this is an expanded version of my answers there.  :)

My first thought was… nothing, we just do spanking stuff.  I guess that just goes to show how much these things have become just part of wiiwd.

Things we use (at least sometimes)

  • Lots of dressing up stuff, especially school uniforms, stiff collared shirts and school knickers.
  • a corner of the room (assuming a corner can count as a thing)
  • a high stool or a regular chair (for bending or being tied over.
  • pillows
  • rectal thermometer (o-the-shame)
  • plug (o the shame)
  • enema stuff (O THE SHAME)

Used rarely:

  • wrist cuffs
  • blindfold
  • vibrating egg
  • school book / notebooks and the like

Things we don’t have but I’d like us to get:

  • spreader bar
  • an adult sized school desk
  • school room / “play’ room (in my wildest dreams)

Most of the stuff, as you can probably guess, is used when we’re doing scenes with a school feel.  Others are for the very embarrassing anal play feeling.

Lots of people assume, because of the school uniforms plus the stories Paul and I have written that we do a lot of role play.  This isn’t the case.  Although I’ve been doing scenes as a adult for almost 9 years, I can count the number of real role play scenes I’ve done on my fingers and toes.  And the ones I’ve done with Paul on just my fingers.

Role play is something I’d like to do more of, but it comes a lot easier for me than it does for him and it takes a lot of his energy.  While I enjoy being someone else (or rather, me as another self), Paul enjoys scenes most that are close to who he really is.  And he’s not my teacher, headmaster or daddy.

Plus, one of the first (and only) times we tried a guardian / child scene, we were both very new to this.  My resistance got out of control and became very unpleasant for both of us, yet I didn’t feel able to just step out of the scene.  I guess part of me was too afraid of it failing and us never doing anything like it again.  We hadn’t even considered that he, as the top, might need a safeword and so he felt trapped in a scene that had spiraled away from both of us.  It was just bad and unhappy all the way around… a terrible experience.  The result?  We never have played that dynamic again.  And when we do play, I’m very self-conscious for fear of it not being good for him.  I’m not sure we’ll ever do it enough for this to really go away either.

Instead, the roleplays that I need seem to happen in my head outside of our actual scenes with the dynamic and scenes with Paul providing both fodder and release.  Maybe it’s not ideal.  But it’s pretty close.  And very good in its own right.

July 20, 2006

Porn, Mija Style

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 11:10 pm

Lonelydoll_1No, this isn’t a post about the Ashwinder site (where I can sometimes be found spending way too much time reading Snapeporn).

But my spanking fetish comes from way back. I can’t even remember a time when I didn’t have spanking fantasies. Like so many of us, as a child and teen I used to comb the libraries and book shops for spanking references in books and the (wildly rare) drawing. Those that I found as a child (especially this one from Dare Wright’s The Lonely Doll or another, like the story “A Friend in Need” from An All-of-a-Kind Family) were and are especially dear.

While typing this I’ve had a rather odd fetish thought, perhaps more suited for Adele’s site then mine. But I’m imagining a Spanking_machineseries of photos done with one of the lovely long-haired and sad-eyed spanking models (I’m thinking of Bailey or Katie Spades perhaps, or even sweet Adele herself) dressed as Edith over the knee of a man in a bear costume. Am I alone in thinking that would be aSpanking_machine1 wonderfully fun thing to see? Or is it just too darn pervvy?

Anyway, this all came up because the delightful Kessily from soc.sexuality.spanking — she’s running the short story contest this year — found some wonderful spanking pictures in some recent children’s books (ah the uses of summer reading!) and scanned them. I’m putting them up here both because they’re wonderful and also so they’d be linkedSpanking_machine2 somewhere on the ‘net.
In my opinion, of course, these images are all wonderful — these first are from “The Spanking Machine” (not sure of the author). Clicking on any of these images will give you a larger pop-up. I’m not sure what the little fox has done, but clearly s/he’s either been very naughty or is being rather unfairly treated. I love that s/he’s doing the “post spanking” walk afterward, a little bit of a rub and, one imagines, a slightly gingerly walk.

Personally I’ve never really been fascinated much by spanking machine stories or pictures, drawings of them, preferring to have fantasies about the human touch, so to speak. However, I know there are lots of people who love ’em and even try and build them. These images Kessily scanned seem especially nice and perhaps hope to guarantee another generation of spanko kids who get off on the thought of some sort of mechanized masochism. One can at least hope so anyway!

But the pictures that did it for me, that really touched some sort of deep spanko chord from Father_1somewhere inside my childhood were the drawing she scanned from a story book called From Me To You by Paul Rogers. The book is told as a grandmother’s nostalgic journey through her family’s history, as told by her to her small granddaughter. The grandmother recalls her childhood in Edwardian England to her marriage to her husband, and his departure for World War II. The spanking occurs when the children make the mistake of throwing mud onto clean laundry on the line (think how very naughty!).
Aside from the fact the pictures themselves (see, I told you we’d get to them) are wonderful and beautifully rendered with lovely period clothing,Father_2 I was especially touched by that description because the timing (that is, the imagined age of the grandmother) because it’s so close to my own Nana’s. And I remember her telling stories about the mischief she and her brother would get up to and how they almost always got away with it, but there was the risk of the occasional thrashing, with her brother getting spanked much harder then she did because he was older and a boy.

I couldn’t help think of her and my great-uncle when I saw the picture of the little girl standing on tip-toe to watch her brother getting smacked in the study, knowing that she’s next. At least that’s what I imagine happening anyway, I would have to get the book in order to be quite sure.

My thoughts when looking at the boy over his father’s knee? Well, that if I’m ever brave enough, one day there will be a picture of me in my proper school boy uniform, complete with short pants and blazer on this site. Maybe after my next hair cut.

Um. But don’t hold your breath!

July 9, 2006

Our House: Punishments Making a Comeback?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 2:08 pm

I just finished writing this entry over at The Punishment Book about a spanking I got on the 4th of July. It had been a while since I’d been spanked or punished. I’m not sure I can say I “needed” it (though perhaps Paul has another view on this) but I know the echoes of it have made the following week easier.

That’s something I’ve been thinking about a bit lately — how much more connected with life in all its aspects I feel when Paul spanks me more often. It’s not just being spanked — too much play at Shadow Lane parties can have the opposite effect, leaving me feeling disconnected from reality for a few days — but being spanked by Paul that’s the important bit.

I’m not sure why but I think it has to do with feeling intmacy and the validation of having the person who knows me best and who I’m closest to really seeing this part of me. Keeping it hidden from everyone was so much a part of my life as far back as I could remember. Secrets and the effort of keeping them, whether the abuse that was going on in my household or the perverted thoughts that were and are my fantasies, were so much a part of my life, I wonder if being able to be open about this aspect of my life is ever going to feel real.

In any case, I’ve been spanked more lately. And for whatever reason, it’s made me feel more in control of, and more vividly part of, my life.

June 30, 2006

Jealous Much?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 9:30 pm

I just read this entry over at Haron and Abel’s blog. I found myself feeling all jealous for a few reasons.

First because I miss them and so I liked thinking about the idea of visits and visitors. But also because I haven’t been spanked much lately (too much family stuff in my real life I guess) and so I miss that sort of easy feeling of “oh right a spanking, even here”.

Last though because the fantasy of me being spanked out of doors in parks is something that Paul and I have played with between each other for years, but mostly have never actually done. I’m not sure why. He’s never been shy about spanking me in semi-public spaces (though the bare bottom thing in this one was quite daring), but we’ve never actually done the otk on a park bench thing.

The story Haron recounts is sexy and sweet and just delightful. So glad they shared it. Even if it does make me feel rather green with envy. (As does their finding something spanking related to post ‘most every day.) Lovely blog too by the way!

June 27, 2006

It’s 5am and I’m Awake

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 5:08 am

Well, so much for my plan to try and write in this blog every day.

So, when last we spoke I was in Portland.

I’m home now.  Though the visit was all about my grandmother’s birthday and saying goodbye to my grandfather, there was some spanking-related content.  We met up with newsgroup friends for dinner and spanking chatter at the Kennedy School.  Much fun was had, so much in fact that the only spanking I got was a rather small one (though it did smart) given before our friends arrived.  I did get to try my “schoolboy” outfit on for them.  My hair has been cropped very short since my last picture and I think I look rather better (or at least slightly more realistic) in the outfit now. Though I might have hoped for a bit more play (but then again Pab was really the only top…maybe it all seemed a bit too much), it was great to get to see friends again after too long spent away from each other.
Speaking of play, Pab and I still haven’t had a chance to play a “real” boy scene since I got my hair cut.  Maybe that’s something to look forward to in July.

June 3, 2006

Away From Home

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 5:08 am

I’m away from Pablo just now and my thoughts, as ever, have turned to spanking.

Why? I’m not sure. Partly (I’m sure) because this is a stressful time. My grandfather, who is over 100 years old, is failing very fast and will probably not live out the month. Even the week is a bit doubtful. Meanwhile my mother, with a bit of help from me, is planning a party for my grandmother’s 100th birthday. The party is a week from today and the planning of it is not unlike planning a wedding.

So I’m amusing myself with spanking thoughts. Mostly about getting to do a school roleplay involving some sort of math.

Despite what some people thing, Pablo and I don’t do very much roleplaying. In fact, it’s something I think of as a great (and rare) treat. When I do get to do it, I enjoy it most if there’s been a good deal of preparation. Being set to do something challenging, but just possible, (like say a group of trig equations) and having to try very hard to get them right, works well for me.

So anyway, that’s in my thoughts this early dawn. Probably reflects too that we’re going to be meeting friends later this week (once Pab joins me) at Portland’s Kennedy School, an old elementry school converted into a hotel. Chalkboards in the bedroom, how kinky is that?

May 29, 2006

Protected: Exclusion as the default position

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 10:42 pm

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May 24, 2006

I’m Emma Am I?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mija @ 3:27 am

Well, apparently yes, at least according to this quiz. Funny thing is that according to the results, this isn’t a common outcome — only 4% of the people taking the quiz have come out as Emma, while 44% have come out as Elizabeth Bennett, my favorite Austen character.

Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

You’re Emma Woodhouse of Emma by Jane Austen!
Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Ah well. Emma has to be one of the characters in Austen most in need of a spanking. Not that this makes her in any way like me. But the SSC (that’s the summer short story contest on soc.sexuality.spanking) is coming up and I need story ideas and the like.

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