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Fetish, the Internet and Me
Wow. After months of talking about having
a column on Newsguy, I guess this is my big introduction. How
do I start? "Hi, my name is Mija. Over the last three and
a half years I've spent countless hours reading and writing
about spanking on Usenet"?
Okay, that sounded pretty much like support-group
speak and hardly even naughty, but now maybe I have your attention.
Especially if you're attracted in some way to spanking too.
Honestly, it feels odd to be a woman, one who is considered
and considers herself to be a feminist, and admit having a fetish.
And maybe especially admitting to this one, one which for me
is all about being treated like a child. Admitting I'm into
spanking brings feelings of embarrassment and a tinge of fear,
but also a relief at not hiding it any more.
Over three years ago now, knowing nothing
about Usenet or the web, I stumbled upon a newsgroup devoted
to my fetish - spanking. Now I'd known I had a strong interest
(okay, and a really strong one!) in spanking as far back as
I could remember. I'd spent a lot of time looking up references
in libraries and always checked out the word 'spank' in any
dictionary I could find, usually before I checked out anything
Because I'd already found erotic spanking
novels by the time I was 13, I knew there were other people
out there somewhere with this same interest. But except for
the personal ads in alternative newspapers that I read covertly,
I didn't really know there were a number of other people with
the same interest. That is, I knew they existed, but where I
could find them was another matter. (Answering a personal ad
seemed too scary an idea to even consider.) I also partly questioned
whether there could be women other than me with this interest,
or if it was one only men had, since I never saw ads from any
And then I found the newsgroup alt.sex.spanking,
joined in the discussions and was part of the subsequent creation
vote for soc.sexuality.spanking.
I discovered other people - men, but even
more importantly, women - with the same fetish as me (though
'same' needs perhaps to be qualified since I also discovered
there are ways of imagining spanking I'd never considered).
These people were like and unlike me in numerous ways. Some
were funny and witty, others boring and rude. And most had looked
up 'spanking' in the dictionary, so we had that much in common.
But most of all, the people I met were ordinary - with a diverse
range of interests like people everywhere. Their humanity made
a huge difference in my levels of acceptance and even celebration
of my fetish.
So, my fetish is spanking. And exploring it
through discussion, fiction, shopping, romance, friendships,
on-line and real-life scenes has been an amazing trip. The exploration
hasn't changed who or what I am, but it's made me that much
more so. And it all somehow started on Usenet.
Okay, so this wasn't very naughty. But just
wait 'til next time.
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